Whilst Coles is leading the way in supermarket website silliness, Woollies is fighting back strongly with instore stupidity.
When I went out to do our Xmas food shop yesterday afternoon, I made the grave mistake of starting at our nearest Woollies.
I firstly inquired in the fruit & veggie section about the Xmas 1kg boxes of premium cherries but was told they had sold out and didn’t expect to get any more.
I proceeded to the meat section and asked where the fresh Luv-A-Ducks were only to be told that they had some a couple of days ago and had sold out. They only received 2 cartons and did not expect to get anymore.
I hadn’t decided whether to buy our half leg ham from Coles, Woollies or our local Supa IGA but a sign offering $10 off any Woollies Essentials ham sealed the deal so I inspected every chump end half ham and took the most succulent looking one.
When I scanned the ham at the self-service checkout, the $10 discount was not applied so I called the attendant.
It turned out that some mung bean had labelled the ham as Buffalo Wings, and after much intervention, the ham was finally relabelled correctly and the $10 discount was automatically applied.
After going to Coles, I returned to Woollies as I forgot the Superior Gold smoked salmon that was on special in the Woollies catalogue and I could not get a Steggles Family Roast Chicken at Coles.
No Steggles chickens or Superior Gold salmon to be found so I asked one person who asked another person and so on until we all ended up at the customer service desk and I showed them the listing in their catalogue.
They finally found a statement which read that not all seafood was available in all stores.
So after all that, all I managed to buy at Woollies without a drama was some brushed potatoes, plus the ham with a drama.
I then went to our local Supa IGA where I was able to buy two 1kg boxes of premium cherries, but as they had also sold out of fresh Luv-A Ducks, I had to settle for a frozen one, and they had also sold out of Steggles Family Roast Chickens.
I then went to the other local Woollies where they had around 50 Steggles Family Roast Chickens after I had visited the Coles there only to be told that they no longer sell Steggles Family Roast Chickens as they have their own brand.
To add insult to injury, the Woollies $20 voucher I was promised would be emailed to me on 23.12.2019 has still not arrived. Perhaps they are extending their staff wage theft program.
And all that without mentioning the idiot who came around the previous corner with its left indicator on as I turned right from the IGA and got upset when I drove out as it was not turning left but going straight.
Or the other idiot who almost took out the front of our vehicle when it failed to give way in the Stockland carpark.
I think I will just go and listen to my Kevin Bloody Wilson Xmas song collection starting with “Ho, Ho, #**### Ho”.