I expected the Prime Minister to give some directions to slow the spread, like focus on personal hygiene, don’t insist on shaking hands, avoid crowds if possible, defer overseas travel if possible etc, if you feel you have symptoms or have been tested and are waiting results you should self isolate.
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In a totally scripted political speech you want substance? We have politicians not statesmen, readers not leaders. How would giving yourself a pat on the back instill confidence and prevent panic?
A professional communicator who somehow made all the mistakes that you can when reading a speech. The performance was as locked down as his hands, that he tried to hold immobile on the desk like those of a 19th century schoolboy looking for an early mark from the headmaster. One finger escaped now and then but was quickly brought under control each time - as if a glimpse of a human being might somehow give the game away. All with robotic rhythm and crafted dynamics, no spontaneity, no gesture and his eyes glued to the autocue looking out through a fixed grimace. C3PO with a low battery would be more authentic and inspiring.
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Still, it was a far better performance re substance than another particular world leader. Not often we can say that about many or any of our illustrious PMs, or even the occasional and rare ‘tall pollie’.
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With enough bar-lowering you get Pauline Hanson or Anthony Mundine for PM.
There’s a bar??? 
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Hopefully this advice will prove helpful:
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Having just read Donald Trump’s address was meant to lay out US plans to tackle coronavirus. Instead it sparked confusion I now concede the point. Neither our fearless leader nor his counterpart would get three major items wrong in one speech. At least they can the read the autocue.
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Coles sees Woollies hand and raises them.
An email from Coles CEO today.
"Dear XXXX,
As the situation around Coronavirus continues to develop, we believe that everyone in the community should have access to their share of grocery items, particularly the elderly.
Following the toilet paper restrictions introduced last week we have seen compassion from customers respecting these limits
Our team members and suppliers have also been working as hard as possible delivering more products to stores every day and stocking shelves as quickly as possible. I would ask all customers to continue to respect and support our team members, particularly if a product is unavailable or the checkout queues are longer than normal.
To continue to allow everyone the opportunity to purchase staple items, we will be implementing a couple of further changes throughout our stores:
-
From Saturday we will limit the purchase of pasta, flour, dry rice, paper towels, paper tissues and hand sanitisers to 2 items per customer. We will also be introducing some additional limits on certain items in each store. These can vary between stores, so please visit your local Coles for more information.
-
From today we will be temporarily suspending our change-of-mind refund policy to discourage over-purchasing. If you have already purchased additional items you no longer want, please look at donating them to community organisations or neighbours who have been struggling to purchase them during this time.
Further information on Coronavirus can be found at www.health.gov.au
Thanks for your ongoing support and patience in these unprecedented times. We will get through this together!
Best wishes,
Steven Cain
Chief Executive Officer
Coles Group"
So whilst Woollies did not make it retrospective, much to my wife’s disgust, Coles has, hopefully leaving some of these grubs high and dry.
Whilst I believe it should only apply to the “panic buying” products, I would love to see them donating their surpluses to charities.
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I remember only a few days ago not to worry, supply will be returning to normal early this week (it is Saturday and the aisles are generally unchanged from last week).
While the words have been meant to stop panic buying they are eroding credibility regarding supply, and thus might be reinforcing the need to panic buy. I doubt they have considered that.
As for myself, I have one emergency supply that will not be used until all other options including the post-shower solution have been exhausted.
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What to do when the toilet rolls run out.
For those who choose the “Bushman’s friend”, best to ensure you do not get it mixed up with Stinging Tree leaves.
‘ - are able to hold on until you get to New Zealand where it is found.
There are some imported nursery cultivars (varieties) available in Aussie nurseries.
Well don’t order it online with click & collect from Woollies.
And an article regarding the benefits of eating fresh fruit & vegetables to help protect against the coronavirus.
I wonder if the fresh produce shelves will be stripped bare like the toilet roll shelves?
Not much chance of that as the selfish shoppers would undoubtedly be living on junk food.
Not necessarily. 
Cabbage and unwashed potatoes and pumpkins and onions and a few other staples can keep quite well in a cool dark place or fridge. Not sure about eating too much cabbage, perhaps some olive oil and a good serve of roasted garlic on the side might help round the flavour out. Cabbage has both a European and Asian heritage well pickled, which might also cater for a wide variety of preferences.
I can see another food challenge coming on. The best cabbage, potato, and … dishes from long life “fresh” produce.
P.S.
I use “fresh” as defined by the greater ColesWorth marketing dictionary, 2019 edition, unrevised. Available now at your local supermarket.
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It is not so bad when combined with some popular ingredients.
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If cooked well it might serve as makeshift toilet paper, or if you consume enough of it, the gas generated might render toilet paper unnecessary …
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Really fresh cabbage and cold-stored long held cabbage are two different things. Most people only experience the latter. A fresh cut cabbage has a milder flavour and smell when cooked, for a few days it is slightly sweet but the sugars disappear with time. Some people don’t like cabbage at all, one reason is they have only ever had the stale kind and too often overcooked or boiled in water.
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:
This whole toilet roll fiasco is now way beyond a joke.
I went to Coles at Edmonton this morning to buy a pack of hand wipes and noted that there was not a single pack of toilet rolls.
This was at 9:30 AM, a mere 30 minutes after opening time.
I asked the woman at the self service checkouts if they did not have any supplies today, and she said that they did but they were all sold out.
I then said “So the grubs have already taken it all already” which she did not like.
If Coles and Woollies had a modicum of intelligence, they would not put all the stock out before opening time allowing the grubs to strip the shelves bare in minutes but would restock the shelves at random times throughout the day thus providing an opportrunity for other consumers to actually buy some.
After all, they do not put out all the roast chickens for the day on display prior to opening times so it can actually be achieved, even by Coles and Woollies.
I expect that not only are the grubs all congreated outside the stores prior to opening time but there are whole families with each person buying a pack so as to circumvent the 1 pack per shop limit.
The only relieving factor is that Coles and Woollies are thankfully not in charge of the health care system or we would all be doomed.
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Reality is the catalogues were in the pipeline and who would have known, but. With empty aisles Coles has on offer
and no rain cheques apply. The pretence of life as usual has a touch of dark humour.
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I must be psychic
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