The Old Crab Meat Scam

The first time we encountered the “crab meat scam” was when we went on a family holiday to Tasmania in 1993 and stopped in Scottsdale for lunch at a cafe which advertised their brandy snaps in the window.
A menu item was “crab & salad rolls” which we asked the woman running the premises, who had a customer attitude from hell, as to what type of crab was used, to which she replied that it was a manufactured crab product.
When the rolls arrived, they were made from chopped up seafood sticks, which we now know do not contain any crab meat but are manufactured from fish meat. They were revolting and we left without eating them.
When my wife and I reflect back on the disgraceful experience, we just refer to her as “brandy snaps”.
The next time we encountered them was when we stayed overnight in Eden in 2011 and made the mistake of going to Eden Pizza for dinner. I have copied the item I posted in 2012 on the now defunct Not Good Enough website below.
“Whilst staying in Eden, N.S.W. on 30.12.2011, we called into Eden Pizza. The menu stated that they have 40 Gourmet Pizza Varieties. A counter sign stated that their pizzas may seem expensive but let your taste buds be the judge.

We made the mistake of proceeding to order a family size Seafood Marinara pizza, which was described as having tomato, cheese, crabmeat, anchovies, oregano and garlic for some $23 from the girl who was taking orders before asking how long it would be.

An older woman, presumably the owner’s wife or co-owner, who was assembling pizzas responded without bothering to even look up, let alone acknowledge who she was talking to. She said 40 minutes then changed that to 30 minutes.

We walked throughout the main street and returned in 30 minutes and asked the girl about our order. The older woman responded that it wasn’t even prepared yet and would be another 20 minutes, again without bothering to even look up.

After 20 minutes we returned and asked the girl. The older woman responded, again without bothering to look up, that it was only just being placed on the conveyer belt and would take another 10 minutes to cook, which turned out to be closer to 20 minutes.

When it was finally cooked, an older male person, presumably the owner, said that they had been extremely busy. Presumably this is sufficient excuse to lie to customers about how long the wait will be.

Whilst waiting outside, my wife overhead 3 separate couples who had walked out of the shop after being told a pizza would take 30 minutes saying that they were going to the other pizza shop down the street. We wished we had done the same.

Having finally received our pizza after over 1 hour, we proceeded to the park to eat it, only to find it was both falsely described and revolting.

The top was completely covered in cheese so I removed some of the topping from the bread and turned it over. The so-called crab meat was in fact shredded seafood extender which is made from fish. The very few prawns were the smallest I have ever seen anywhere. The anchovies comprised a few minute pieces cut from a fillet. The dried oregano and the garlic were excessive.

Far from being anything like a gourmet pizza, it actually made many fast food chain pizzas look good.

Eden Pizza has the worst customer service, customer attitude and pizza I have ever experienced at any pizza outlet anywhere in Australia or overseas.”

At the time, this disgraceful excuse for a pizza shop had a “for sale” sign in the window, and the current posts on TripAdvisor indicate that either the ownership or management changed some years ago, but they still list seafood pizzas with crabmeat.

I would be very interested to know if they are really using real crabmeat or just perpetuating the good old crabmeat scam as I have never actually seen any type of real crabmeat on a pizza anywhere in Australia or overseas.